“No,” I replied, smiling sweetly. “Not D.C. I live in Washington State. You know. The Pacific Northwest. On the coast. Upper Left, USA.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve replayed that conversation with out-of-staters. To save time, let’s just cut to the chase, shall we? You know you’re from Washington State when*:
- A Vitamin D deficiency isn’t just in your head. It’s all over.
- You can pronounce Hoquiam, Sequim, Puyallup, Sammamish, Enumclaw and Issaquah without stumbling.
- You avoid driving through Seattle at all costs.
- You know what a Geoduck is.
- You know Geoduck is pronounced Gooey-duck and not Geo-duck.
- You consider swimming an indoor sport.
- You know that s’mores is one of the basic food groups.
- Your lawn is mostly moss and you don’t really care.
- Your roof is mostly moss and you don’t really care.
- Your dog is mostly… oh, never mind.
- When you hear “The Mountain is out,” you don’t have to ask which one. You know.
- When visiting another state and asked where you’re from, you say “Seattle.” You know Seattle is the only city in Washington, according to the rest of the hemisphere.
- You’ve eaten in the Space Needle. While it was delicious, you’ll never again pay $50 for a hamburger in the sky.
- You know that washing your car is a waste of time.
- Northface is always in fashion.
- You take a warm coat and a hat with you for a day at the beach.
- You have mastered the art of doing everything in the rain, because, well, Washington.
- You play “no, you go” at a four-way stop.
- You know that Mount Rainier is both stunningly beautiful and could also kill you some day. And you don’t mind.
- You get a little twitchy if it’s been more than a week since the last rain.
- You think Twilight ruined Forks.
- You can say Humptulips, Lilliwap and Dosewallips without laughing. Too much.
- You really know you’re from Washington State when you wouldn’t want to live anywhere else!
*Adapted from a Facebook post.